My dad has a friend who is divorced with two grown kids. He's been on his own for quite some time, and as much as he loves women, he's not looking to get remarried. He was left with a lot of hurt from his first wife. Things did not end amicably, and he carries with him considerable bitterness. Thankfully, not toward women in general.
He is retired, so has plenty of time on his hands. His routine du jour has becoming frequenting java hangouts. Sure, he loves coffee....good coffee....but the ritual goes beyond that. Coffee joints have become his place to oggle, and he has it down to a science.
His top two spots are Starbuck's and Dunkin Donuts. On any given day he is at one or the other or both. He prefers the coffee at DD to Starbuck's, but likes the women better at Starbuck's. He says it attracts a more upscale, professional crowd. And, he would know. He's there early in the morning as they are likely on their way to the office. And, he oggles.
Now.....I see nothing wrong with oggling per se. However, doesn't it get frustrating? He's respectful about it. He enjoys admiring women...but wouldn't he also like to talk to them? He is shy. So, he looks from afar.
My dad, on the other hand, will talk to almost anyone....to a fault at times. He has always been Mr. Social.
So....it got me thinking. One of the points I always make when I lecture to singles is that you can't just show up someplace. You have to involve yourself. Smile at people, get a conversation going, etc. I will address the subject of flirting at length in a future post, but I want you to think about those situations where you choose not to endeavor to speak to someone. Oggling is always an option, but in the long run, you'll probably be a lot happier if you worked on your conversation skills.