Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Second Right: Right Attitude

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, there are Three Rights that are considered important in my book, when you are seeking a mate.

The first, Right Time, was discussed.

Now I'm going to shed light on the second, Right Attitude.

Right attitude refers to staying positive, keeping an open mind, and being approachable.

You give off vibes you might not even be aware of.

If your tendency is to walk into a room, anxiously size up the crowd, and decide in no time that it's not for you, your attitude could use some adjustment. How can you really tell that quickly if there is no one you would connect with?

If you are sincerely open-minded, you will give someone the opportunity to show his or her true self through in-depth conversation. Only then can you attempt to reach some level of conclusion. You certainly can't judge someone just based on looks.

You might also find that Mr. or Ms. Right Mensch does not present him or herself at the onset. If you are at a social function, the person could be the quiet, shy one standing in a corner, not entirely confortable with the scene. You might have had times when you felt like that.

You can potentially boost his or her confidence by coming across with a positive attitude and initiating a conversation.

I once spoke at a Jewish singles function held at a popular synagogue in Manhattan. I had brought along three single girlfriends at the time who were hoping to meet someone. While they listened to my speech, as soon as I was done, they bolted out the door. They were so eager to get home that they didn't make an attempt to speak with anyone. And, I was approached by a bunch of attractive guys afterwards who had questions to ask. I scanned the room in an attempt to find my friends and connect them with the guys, but they were already out the front door.

I later told them that I thought they had lost out and that they didn't have the right attitude.

It's not enough to put yourself in a social environment. An optimistic attitude has to come with you. Then, at least you'll know you made a concerted socializing effort and didn't just show up, regardless of the outcome of the event.

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