I recently had a bit of a falling out with someone I've known casually over the years. I had asked for some information, thinking we were supportive/respectful of each other, and one thing led to the next.....it was not something I expected.
Got me thinking about the notion of one hand washing the other.
I've always been someone who takes pride in helping others. I imagine that's part of the reason my work as a love coach is so gratifying to me. And, why I've chosen to write self help books.
I consider myself to be someone who is generous with their time and advice (to the best of my ability), and hope that others will do the same in return. I try to be a team player and have always believed that what comes around, goes around. My philosophy is we can all get much further in life if we support each other.
In my mind, the bottomline is, it's about being a mensch.
If you want to find and potentially marry a mensch (decent person), it takes one to know one.
Do you do good for others (without getting paid for it)?
Do you do any volunteer work?
Do you put others before yourself at times?
Do you always expect things in return?
Part of making a contribution to this world is in the giving.
Look at actor/philanthropist Paul Newman, may he rest in peace. He was able to use his high profile status and earnings to ultimately give back to others in a big way. There's a lot to be said for that. And, he had an enduring marriage to actress Joanne Woodward. Something to aspire to.....
Do you consider yourself a mensch? In what regard?
Why would you deserve to find one, if you don't hold yourself up to the same standards?
Take a hard look at yourself and how you spend your time. Granted everyone is busy these days, but you'd be surprised how little gestures can add up. You don't have to do major volunteer work if your schedule doesn't permit, but there's all kinds of ways to help others.
Give it some serious thought, and you'll be all the better for it, and your love life may benefit in the long run as well.