Friday, December 19, 2008

New Year's

Do you feel pressure to have a date on new year's eve? Or to go a party, even if your heart isn't into it?

When I was single, I always felt compelled to have new year's plans. If I didn't have a date, I needed to have some kind of social agenda that seemed promising. Often what I truly felt like doing was chilling at home, spending time with my folks, or maybe having dinner with a close girl friend.

Or, even practicing self care.

Getting a massage. Doing my nails. Taking a long relaxing shower. Listening to music. You name it.

One year, I learned the hard way, that it's always best to trust your gut and not push yourself needlessly.

I was invited kinda last minute to a party that a friend was going to. It wasn't someone she knew well. It had come to her through the grapevine. I had no particular desire to go. I had resigned myself to a quiet evening at home. But, these pangs of guilt kicked in. So, quickly I jumped into the shower, got myself dressed and met up with my friend. Even my parents encouraged me to go. Their attitude was, you're certainly not going to meet anyone at home.

But, then I'd think to myself, do I really have to try to meet someone on new year's eve? Isn't that one of the hardest socializing days of the year?

You can probably guess how the story goes. The party was a bust.

The crowd wasn't my scene. The people weren't my type. There was loads of booze (which I'm not into), cigarette smoke (which I detest), etc. So, we were quickly in 'n out of the host's house, and I was totally pissed.

At the end of the day, I felt like I had wasted my time. Sure I had made an effort to socialize, but I ultimately felt worse because I didn't have the faith to trust my gut and do what I felt like doing..which was to stay home.

There comes a time when pushing yourself to venture out is important, if you tend to be a homebody type. But, if you're not by nature that way, and have particular days when you just want to chill, then give in to that impulse. You're entitled. Nothing wrong with laying low. If you push yourself to go out too often, you may burn out, and not look like you're having much fun when you're there anyway.

So, do what you're inclined to do this holiday season and new year's eve. And whatever that is, enjoy and be safe.

There's plenty of time to make new year's socializing resolutions in 2009. Until then, cut yourself some slack and do what calls out to you.