Friday, March 13, 2009


Do you have a pattern?

I'm referring to a pattern of dating?

Do you have a habit of gravitating toward the same type of person, and it continually fails to work out?

This is not unusual.

Most people would say they have a "type" that appeals to them

Part of it is looks.

Profession could play role.

Sense of humor.



There are many things that contribute to "type."

While it's natural, it can ultimately prove self-defeating.

It's important to examine your choices.

What to do if you recognize that you tend to both attract and be attracted to a guy or gal who isn't commitment-minded, and you are ready to find a life partner?

Consider what it is that appeals to you.

I would definitely first urge you to explore your own readiness.

Are you truly poised to walk down the aisle or do you just think you should be ready? There is a difference.

If the answer is a resounding "yes" you're reading, then why do you continually seek out those who aren't on the same page as you?

Years ago, I had a single girlfriend who was very attractive and never attracted a marriage-ready guy. She and I would go out dancing, and inevitably the guys that would come over to her were the ones that had the never to strike a conversation. To many, her looks would be intimidating. Not that she was even aware of her own looks. She was one of the most down-to-earth girls I knew, and still is, and we remain close friends. But, the bar/club scene wasn't working for her.

I told her she needed to shake things up, and I wrote/placed a personal ad for her. Ultimately, she met her husband through it, and since he seldom, if ever, went to bars/club, she would not have had a way to meet him if she kept on the socializing path she was pursuing.

Like herself, she needed, for the long run, a more down-to-earth guy who would treat her well....yes someone she was attracted to, could laugh with, respected, have a family with ....etc....but until I mentioned a personal ad to her, she didn't recognize that she needed to take a different approach. And, while his looks didn't necessarily knock her out immediately, there was an attraction on a deeper level, and they are happily married with kids today.

I urge you to take a look at your patterns. Who you attract. Who is attracted to you. Are they marriage-minded? What can you change, if need be, about your socializing pursuits that could lead you down a different path.

It's worth investing the energy to explore.

And, if you're not sure, consider speaking with a Love Coach, like myself, because sometimes it's tough to see ourselves.

PS -- I have a special sale at present on my book HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH. Buy One....Get One Free. Drop a note to